A Second Chance at Womanhood

Returning to our Foundations

I grew up in one of the few surviving “traditional” American families. Born in the 1970’s, to my Christian, married parents, who were already in the throws of raising my brother, I lucked out! My dad was gentle, playful, kind, protective, wise and affirming. He put family first, after God. My mom was nurturing, affectionate, attentive, feminine, respectful and crazy about her husband.They demonstrated a beautiful balance of the original designs divinely and uniquely imprinted on male and female, husband and wife, father and mother.This month they will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary!

As my brother and I grew up, we absorbed their influence like sponges, though I’m sure there were many days they felt like nothing was “soaking in.” We were taught through word and deed what a firm foundation looks like; devotion to God, discipline, honesty, the family unit, giving, hard work, home education, gender appreciation…

Yes, I said “gender appreciation.” I remember long before most of the identity crisis of our modern society blew up, it was instinctual, accepted and celebrated by most children that they were born and lived as a boy or girl, a son or daughter. Life was a two-lane road; simple. We drove in opposite directions, stayed in our lanes and appreciated our differences.I had a brother not a sister. I was a daughter, not a son.

Because our parents lived out a biblical marriage with equally important but noticeably different roles, we had something to look forward to. A glimpse into what we were going to be like when we grew up. So this is a man.So this is a woman.We were fortunate to see the masculine qualities of our father and the feminine qualities of our mother lived out naturally and confidently.Their inspiration? Common sense-God’s word and the natural order of creation. When families function the way God intended, it’s easy to understand where we fit, even as children.

The more we mess with the design, the harder it is to build the right structure. God is the great architect. His blueprints are perfect. Things have gotten so complicated and chaotic for young people and families today! They no longer know what life is supposed to look like as a boy, a girl, a man or a woman, much less as a married couple and parents.

The design has been tampered with, tweaked and compromised. How do we raise children? How do we build a proper marriage and family? We need to see copies of the original design…A new generation of role models who will “re-model” the home.

Sadly, many wonderful gender-specific characteristics that have been historically viewed as normal are now mislabeled as “stereotypes” or “biases.” People who are clearly one thing can “identify” as another thing. Women are taught to compete with men instead of helping them. Men are taught to exploit women instead of protecting them.

Couples play house to avoid the commitment of marriage.Many mothers are single on purpose, claiming “I don’t need a man to raise a child.”(Though they obviously needed one to make the child) Husbands are disrespected. Children are overlooked and sent to institutions for 7-8 hours a day from infancy through high school graduation.The work of a homemaker is no longer considered work.On and on the false narrative goes.

At the root of it all, our innate value and identity as males or females, made in God’s image for specific purposes, is being undermined. The “big picture” is being attacked with big erasers! It started with small details. A line here, a shadow there. Now we have whole generations who don’t even know that such a picture exists. They are lost in a giant gallery of options and “freedoms.” They fight for “rights” that are really wrongs.

I am of the mind that the only way to recover from such an extreme pendulum swing in a negative direction is to be just as “extreme” in re-establishing a positive example in the right direction. We can’t map it out in pencil this time, either! We need some brave men and women to get out the giant, permanent Sharpies and mark a clear and bold path for others to follow. Someone has to stand out in the crowd. Things have to be done radically differently…again. (These days, what is “old-fashioned” will look brand new.)

In another post I may get into more specifics about being a woman, wife and mother. I recently got remarried to an amazing Godly man, (Mike Motley) and between us we have seven children! In my first marriage I was in a very suppressed environment, unable to thrive in my primary callings at home. What a difference good soil makes to good seed! I realize now just how much “womanhood” was planted in me by my own mother. And I finally have permission to grow and flourish. I have a second chance at being a woman.

Here’s to all the girly girls and manly men!