Change Is In The Moments

The power of accepting

where you are right now

It’s a new year. In the days leading up to January first, I decided to get a head start on some goals and renewed healthy habits. Beat it to the punch, right? If I could start the year already immersed in change, I would feel more accomplished and less a part of the “resolution” culture. I’ve kept up pretty well. However, no short list of mine will ever match the long list of things that life demands from me. It trumps anything I can premeditate with a pen, some paper and a cup of

coffee in one inspired sitting.

The truth is, though it is fine to set new goals with the turning of the calendar page, the

challenges of life never follow our schedule and don’t care about our goals. There is no

“planner” for our feelings, circumstances or emergencies.

I found myself, only a few days into the new year, surrounded by backed up laundry, dishes and

bills. I splurged on some “forbidden” food temporarily, as my body was in a state of anxiety and exhaustion. My mind weighed heavy; eyes tired, words few. A lot of tears and very little energy.

(I mean, who cries in the soap aisle at Walgreens?)

As I face some intense personal battles right

now, I have to remember that something more important than my list begs for my attention; ME.

When stress tells you to put your list down and rest, or else, that is what you do!

Yesterday, I looked around my messy room, tempted to stay in a place of overwhelm. I had

already slept in and still felt like doing nothing for a very long time. (like forever) If you know

me, you know that I like the house in order; clean, decluttered, even cute. But if you really know

me, you know that I have a history of surviving really hard seasons and have a lot of trauma and

sometimes depression/mental health symptoms to prove it. As much as I hate to get behind on

my goals or even my kitchen, I really hate feeling out of control.

I crave structure and security. I like to check off boxes. I like to defeat the odds of my outlandish,

creative, spontaneous personality and feel like an adult once in a while. My life has been a wild

ride. Sometimes it’s fun that way. Many times it feels impossible to get a handle on. My mind

says, “Get a grip!” Then it says, "Nevermind. There is no grip.”

Here’s what I cling to: “Today is mine. Tomorrow is none of my business. “ -Elisabeth Elliot

For me, (probably you too) even one day at a time, depending on the day, can feel like too much.

When I resist the urge to “push through it” for the sake of reputation, achievement and flat-out

denial, something better than checked boxes happens. Acceptance.

I accept that in order to keep working, I must first rest. In order to meet my goals, I may have to

change them. In order to feel better, I have to feel the bad stuff first-ugly cries and all. In order to

“catch up” on chores I might have to lower the perfection bar or (gasp!) ask for help.

Sometimes we can’t win the day. We can only win the moment.

Moments are small, but they make up the sum total of days, months, years. Everything can

change in a moment. The key is listening. Listening to God and your inner voice. What does this moment need most? What do I most need at this moment? Should I keep going, change direction or stop all together? You may not be able to predict the rest of your day, but the choice you make right now will have ripple effects, positive or negative.

Now, I want to invite you into a moment with me. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and exhale

these words: “I’m not in control. God is.” Repeat this process as many times as you need to

throughout the day.

Here’s to living one moment at a time!

(And that, my friends, is enough.)