When life says “That’s Enough”

Over the last 20 years, I have accumulated more stress, trauma, and unbelievable circumstances than I have the time or energy to explain. (And you, having to sit through such an explanation could be traumatic in itself! I will spare you...)

To say that I find myself at times, overwhelmed beyond my physical, mental, emotional or spiritual limits is an understatement. But I also have to take a step back from the ripple effects of things I can't control, and re-focus on the things I can manage. This doesn't justify or cure the former, but it is a way to cope and keep things from spiraling into an even worse place.

Sometimes the bigger and heavier a situation feels, or the more serious our situations become, the (naturally) more likely we are to hyper-focus on the huge problems luming in front of us, like a crushing giant, while everything else that is proportional to our abilities and access to help, takes a backseat. In fact, we may not even feel like the "little things" deserve attention, or that we have to prove ourselves a capable giant-slayer, when really, if we're honest, we don't even have the strength to carry a sword.

Things like getting proper sleep, eating healthy food, exercising, soaking in the tub while reading a therapy book, sitting in a quiet spot in nature or (gasp!) taking medication, may look secondary and even selfish to those who don't understand the holistic approach to surviving crazy seasons in life.

However, think about how much harder things could be on you and your loved ones if you let everything go, big and small! Where would that leave you?

I get it. It's overwhelming, angering and exhausting to have to constantly put in extra effort just to keep your head above waters that you never asked to be in. (Resentment speaks loudly when you feel like you have to do all the work to recover from something that is not even your fault! There is an "entitlement" or "victim mentality" that can accompany injustices or tragedies you never expected or deserved.)

Here's the reality: No matter how you got to the frail place you are in, or who's "fault" it is, here you are! And when life says "Enough! You have reached your limit!" You can either listen and commence to giving the bigger battles to God and focus on healing, or you can keep plowing through and your body will eventually force you to stop anyway, sometimes for good.

Do the small things that help you, while you wait on the bigger things to get better. This strengthens your endurance and gives you a small sense of power and dignity in the midst of hardship.

Be honest and open with your spouse, doctor, close friends, etc, about not only the major things you are going through, but the personal things, too. Sometimes the effect circumstances or mental health problems are having on you are even more difficult and pressing than the original or more obvious things that people already know about. (I.e. People hear about a death in your family, but do they know in what ways it has most affected you, and how they can really be a specific help to you? Maybe a card and a casserole arent doing the trick. This is major loss and grief we are talking about...)

I wrote this blog today from the front row of the show! No judgement here. The very reason this all came up, is because I am in the thick of it and having to remind myself of the same truths. In the South, we call that "preaching to the choir."

If these thoughts resonate with you, or you would like to chat about mental health or just coping with hard times, feel free to comment here or email me at: jessierogerswrites@gmail.com

Reflection questions:

What one thing can I do today to take better care of myself?

What one thing can I do today to help someone who is struggling?